I am not a part of the system, I am the one in a constant struggle to rip the system from the foundations it has been placed upon. You may not like it. You may hate me for it, but it is that hatred that fuels me, and so I continue. You can kick, scream, and complain, but I will always be there on the outside of your reality ripping it to pieces, and you cannot stop me.

I hope you enjoy my blog. If you ever need anything e-mail me at chlo_nb@yahoo.com




Favorite movie:
The Matrix

Book Reccomendations:

"The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown

"Can Man Live Without God" by Ravi Zacharias

"Living the Questions:Making Sense of the Mess and Mystery of Life" by Carolyn Arends

Favorite music groups:
Linkin Park
Third day
Thousand Foot Krutch

Political Affiliation: Democratic Socialist.


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Thursday, April 08, 2004
meaningless activity

I'm reading The Purpose Driven Life right now, and it's got me think (I know...shock of all shocks, I'm actually thinking about things).

I've realized that my schedule is full of a bunch of meaningless activities (and believe me as I sit here after a near all-nighter trying to stay awake through a study break so I can go back and study more I'm really regretting it). I do a lot of meaningless activities to make other people happy. I always have been like this but had backed off on it a bit when I got into college. Unfortunately for me, I'm getting back into the swing of it again though, luckily, not quite to the same extreme (a definite blessing).

I seem to spend a lot of time running around trying to make other people's lives easier while I often neglect my own and focus entirely too little on the things that matter most. It's times like these that I get so wrapped that I put God on a back burner just to have enough time for everything, and I hate myself for it every time, yet for some reason it is also where I am most content as I am much more efficient this way.

I know that usually I do this kind of thing when I'm upset about something but for once I can think of no reason for my being discontent enough to do this to myself, so I'm a bit bewildered at the moment.

Regardless, my committment for now is to attempt to drop the meaningless stuff and spend more time with God during my day. Yet there are people in my res hall who don't understand this. They see it as me being lazy and not practicing enough and I don't like to be seen that way. I guess in the end it doesn't matter but for now it really bothers me to be thought of that way.

Despite that the meaningless activities  have to go.  My life has got to become more organized and more sane, and running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to get place to do things with no purpose, and in the process ignoring God until it's a convinient time for me is not helping it to happen. Time to get rid of the junk!

Posted at 05:11 pm by BrandyLCargo
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Sunday, April 04, 2004
:-)...a happy Sunday

I, as of today, am getting to work with the youth group at a Presbyterian church around here. Yay for God opening up the most AWESOME opportunities! I'm going to get to work their until a few days before I go to camp for the summer. Yay for youth ministry and for an absolutely WONDERFUL creator!

Posted at 03:38 pm by BrandyLCargo
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Friday, April 02, 2004
Prayers needed!

A friend of mine has withdrawn from school for the semester due to some medical issues. On Wednesday she goes in for surgery because she has some cists on her ovaries.

The other thing is that a very good friend of mine has become rather entangled in Wicca (the religion that is linked to witch craft). That being said, it also sounds like he's gotten into a very destructive form of it. It concerns me even more because he is still relatively young and I don't think he really knows what he's gotten himself into. I really want to continue to minister to him but I'm not entirely sure how to proceed because I don't want to push him away. I'm one of the few people he will talk with about God and one of the few adults (if you can call me that) that he trusts enough to talk to at all. Please pray for God's guidance in all of this because I certainly need it. He's very emotional and touchy and if I say something the wrong way he may stop listening to me all together. 

Also please keep a kid from the youth group I worked with in Atlanta in your prayers. Last I talked to him he was not a believer. I gave him a book of mine because a discussion in youth group got him asking me questions and when I mentioned that particular book, he thought it sounded interesting, and it had answers to a lot of that questions he was asking me and they were better answers in some cases than I could ever give. He was suppose to e-mail me about the book while he was reading it. When I vistited, he still hadn't gotten around to reading it because school work had been heavy. I don't really care if he reads the book, though I'd like him to, but I do want so badly for him to turn back to Christ. Please pray from him.

Posted at 10:40 pm by BrandyLCargo
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Thursday, April 01, 2004
The Da Vinci Code

This is my fiction that I'm currently reading. It has to be one of the most fascinating books in the world (ok maybe not but it certainly makes the top of my list). I began reading it because I got into a conversation about God with a girl in my hall who is wiccan who had read the book and reccommended it. She told me that while she would reccomend it, it caused a lot of problems in the Christian community because it was seen as heretical, and she didn't want to offend me by reccomending a book that I would see the same way. I told her that if I ignored everything that offended me I'd be in a horrible state and pretty much incapable of interacting with much of the world. When she started explaining the book to me I thouhgt it sounded interesting and borrowed it.

I'm not entirely sure I see what the fuss is, then again I'm only half way through it. The thing is, that the book makes a definate argument for organization even in what seems like chaos. We as Christians believe that there is a God-given order to the universe and this book brings up some interesting ideas to back it. Most interesting to me at this point is the number Phi, which is discussed at length in one of the chapters as Harvard Professor Langdon (the main character) flashes back to one of his classes in which he explained this concept.  

The discussion is on how almost anyhting can be broken down into this ratio. Even something as simple as the ratio between the distance from the human shoulder to the the tip of the fingers and the elbow to the tip of the fingers, or between the distance from the human nose to the ground and their belly button to the ground. It's all about order and organization!

Anyways, I'll share anything else interesting from the book as it comes up.

The girl who I borrowed this book from has apparently been rather close minded about discussing God with other people in our res hall. They were suprised she got into a conversation about him with me. I thought we had a really good conversation and I'm praying to have more. I think this book could very well open up some really interesting conversation between the two of us. Please pray for God's guidance in all of it and please pray for this girl specifically. Her name is Crystal.

Posted at 01:05 am by BrandyLCargo
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Friday, March 26, 2004

 Isn't it cute? :-)

No, it's not sunny out, in fact, it's quite cloudy, but I'm in a sunshiney mood anyways so I figgured I'd post a picture and try to spread the love and smiles :-)

I'm giving tours today to prefroshes at U of I for Vandal Friday. It's been quite interesting. I now have a break which is wonderful because I've been running my mouth all morning trying to tell them everything I possibly could and just be friendly in general. I think I've determined that maybe I talk a little too much...oh well they were well informed of things around here by the end of the tour.

I am also happy because I got the job I REALLY wanted for this summer. This means that I'm going to be working at a presbyterian church camp in the Sawtooth mountains. I am SOOOOO excited about this!!! I get to spend my summer serving God, enjoying his BEAUTIFUL creation and working with kids...what more could I ask for? I have just recieved the most wonderful summer job possible! I can't wait for summer to begin!!!!!!!

Tonight I'm supposed to host prefroshes. I was last night too but there were none that wanted to stay in my res hall and since I'm in a specialty hall, they have to request it to be put here...so after tours today, hopefully some of them will want to stay tonight! This would be wonderful because there are a bunch of us who really want to host over here and were very dissappointed when they had noone for us last night.

Posted at 11:50 am by BrandyLCargo
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